His shoulders are slouched and his eyes are heavy with sleep….and something more. The moment I catch sight of him, I realize something is terribly amiss. There’s only one reason that my normally bright-eyed co-worker is in plain clothes in the ER at midnight on Christmas. I catch his eye and his determined march down the hallway slows and eventually stops.
“You know her?” I ask gesturing to my left with my head, indicating the patient I just brought in lying no more than 10 feet away in the hospital bed, an array of medical professionals hurriedly working to stabilize her. He nods in response, more of a quick jerk downward with his head verses a full nod but he seems unable to form words as he looks past me to the lifeless woman nearby. He’s avoiding eye contact. My heart is sinking and the knot in my throat is growing exponentially.
“What happened?” he finally asks, barely above a whisper.
“She told her husband she wasn’t feeling good. Then she collapsed.” I spare him the details for the moment but I know there will be more questions and explanations to come. “I’m sorry,” I mumble. The room is suddenly suffocatingly hot.
“The family is here,” he says, still avoiding eye contact.
“I already let the doctor know,” I reply. “He said he’d be out as soon as he can.”
“I need to go see them,” he tells me, and wanders off in the direction of the waiting room.
In his absence, I realize that I haven’t taken a full breath since I first saw him and I attempt to fill my lungs but the air gags me and I can’t shake the sharp pain that sears through my chest as I watch him amble away.
