It seems like just yesterday the world held it's breath and wondered if we would reach a technological apocalypse at the turn of 2000. And now, here we sit at the dawn of 2013. The last month of 2012 was filled with tragedy both on a person level and a national level which accounts for my lack of posts. It doesn't seem like it was November the last time that I was able to muster the mental fortitude to spew out a blog post...let alone a quality one. So, here is my first attempt of 2013.
I would like to start by recapping what the month of December looked liked for me. It started out as a month with great prospects. I have written about him before and I shall again. One of my co-workers who is attending school to become a paramedic, reached the half-way point of his educational journey and had to test to obtain his Intermediate certification. As soon as he found out his test date, he approached me and asked if I would go over the multitude of testing scenarios to help him prepare for the big day. You should know that Junior Medic and I have been through several testing scenarios in the past year. I first met him when he came through my ACLS class at our local hospital. Shortly thereafter, just as I was starting with our fire department, he came through my PALS course. When he approached me last month with his latest challenge, I was elated to know that he trusted me enough to help him take one of the biggest steps of his life.
I had no qualms about his medic abilities. Nonetheless, we spent endless hours going over medical, cardiac & trauma scenarios. We practiced IVs, intubations and medication boluses. When he flew off to Denver to test, I knew he would come back victorious...which is a good thing considering his job depended on it. I was one of the first people he called when he had successfully finished his testing. To say I was proud is an understatement. If you're a parent, you know the feeling of pride when your little one takes their first steps or perfectly sings the alphabet all the way through the first time. My level of pride for my fellow medic ranked somewhere in that same category.
Our joy & happiness, however, quickly faded as the month of December spiraled into a series of one funeral service and memorial service after another. I think the flags at the fire station hung at half-staff more than they did at full last month. It started with the December 14th shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut. Our normally jubilant staff was somber that day. Burly firefighters made their way to quiet corners, to ponder and, no doubt, shed tears. Actual talk about the situation was limited. Some things are too hard for even emergency personnel to wrap their heads around. I know that night we all went home & held our families, especially our children, a little tighter.
The same week of the shootings, a friend of ours ended her life. It was a shock to all of us. The guilt and blame that lingers long after your loved one is gone is more than anyone should have to bear. I understand the mentality behind suicide and I know that if someone is determined to take their life, they will find a way to do it. However, for the survivors, no amount of reasoning can make the terrible feelings go away. Only time can make them less painful.
Just one week after burying our friend, a dear fire department member suffered a heart attack at home. He was transported to the hospital where he was pronounced dead after just a short while. In all pomp and circumstance of firefighting, we polished and shined our trucks, donned our heavily starched button up shirts, complete with neck ties and brass, and, invariably, produced a large turnout at a very ceremonious firefighter funeral. Old men and young boys cried openly...as did myself. To lose someone who has been so influential and given so much is a loss for which there are few words. His wife is our department's beloved office clerk. I saw her yesterday for the first time since her husband's funeral. I think she has received more hugs in the last few weeks than any other time in her life. Firefighters do a lot more hugging than any one of you may realize. At any given moment, they may appear non-emotional and stone-faced but when tragedy strikes, they are the most openly huggable people in the world.
As funeral proceedings were underway in our small town, tragedy struck our firefighter brethren in the small town of Webster, New York. In the early morning hours of December 24th, a mentally deranged man deliberately set fire to a car and his residence to lure in emergency responders. When they arrived onscene, he opened fire, shooting 4 of them. Two of them died at the scene and the other 2 were critically wounded. It was like a punch in the stomach for emergency personnel as a whole. To know that we do what we do to help people and that they would use that against us reiterates the fact that there is never a "routine" call or that you can ever be too careful.
I finished out 2012 surrounded by friends and family. In difficult times, they are the best company to be in. We didn't do anything in particular. We just hung out, played games, watched movies, ate popcorn & guzzled hot chocolate, went sledding and stayed up far later than any of us would any other time. And then I went to work New Year's Eve...
But that is another post all-together....
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