Free as a Bird

He's my dad. No one else knows I think of him that way. The same blood runs through us...Type A EMS blood. He has helped me grow to where I am today. He guided me as I took my first faltering steps and watched painfully as I fell down on more occasions than I care to admit. But every time he helped me back up and encouraged me to keep going. In more ways than I can count, he is my hero and I will always look up to him. But today, he is letting me go. He is sending me into the world of paramedicine on my own.

“You are free as a bird,” he tells me. He is quieter than usual and won't look me in the eye. “Get out and enjoy it now. If you have any questions or concerns, call me. Don't hesitate.”
It is a time that I have anticipated for the last 7 months but now that it is here, I am terrified, and, quite frankly, a bit sad. Over the past months, my preceptor and I have shared heartbreak, jubilation, fear, pain, anger, laughter and so much more. Together we have brought back life and we have watched life slip away. We have had long, crazy days when an available restroom and a warm meal were a faraway wish. We have had long, boring days when we scouted out the best deals at every sporting goods store TWICE, wasted countless hours at the nearest coffee shop with wi-fi and dozed in the back of the ambulance, hoping for a page to break the monotony.
He won't say it but I know this day is as tough on him as it is me. He has struggled with the thought of letting me go for a while. It's a dad thing he told me. He has to be 100% sure that I can fly on my own before he can set me free. He can't bear to watch me falter and so it is easier to keep me close and safe.

I understand it. Really, I do. And I don't blame him for it. All he wants is the very best for me and he wants to be there every second to make sure that happens. But, alas, all things must come to an end. I know that he will only be a phone call away. And I will still see him around from time to time. But it won't be the same. As scary as it is, new adventures are waiting and it is time to move on.